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MY PARENTS WATCH SQUIRRELS, WHAT DO YOURS DO?

Squirrels are cute when you’re young, but apparently the devil as you age. At some point we will all end up simply watching the squirrels and wondering how to get rid of them.

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NO LEFT TURN LIGHT SHOULD ONLY HAVE THREE OPTIONS

Waiting at a red left turn light when there’s no one coming in any direction is the most fun thing in the world as a driver. Nothing makes me want to break the law more than that.

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DO YOU EVEN HAVE A SOUL?

Have you ever walked down the candle aisle at Target and not stopped to sniff a single one? Have you ever not been excited about a new Oreo flavor? Have you ever seen a butterfly and not cared? My goodness, what even makes you happy?!

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THANKS FOR READING, PLEASE LEAVE A TIP

Tipping has gotten way out of control. Everywhere I go, someone wants a tip. If you’re just doing your job, why do I have to pay the list price, plus sales tax, plus a tip? Why is that not just part of the list price? Stop robbing me!

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THE MYSTERIOUS ZAMBONI AND IT’S MAGICAL HEALING POWERS

Hockey is underrated and more people should be aware of its greatness. Specifically the magic that happens in between periods. Purely satisfying and nothing can compare.

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