‘You know it was a good workout when you can’t feel your legs the next day’ – all the fitness gurus. ‘If I can’t feel my legs, that seems like a serious medical condition’ – Me

Pain is weakness leaving the body. Who came up with that phrase?! What weakness are you removing? Are there no other ways to get stronger? This seems like a backwards mentality – if you workout until you are in pain, then yes, eventually you’ll get stronger after you fully heal. On the other hand, if you push yourself without crossing the pain threshold, you’ll wake up feeling normal and will be able to do another workout…the very next day. Not 4-6 weeks later.

I mean sure, DOMS is satisfying (if you don’t know what DOMS is, it stands for Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), but soreness is the key word here. This isn’t DOMP for a reason. Pushing through pain leads to injury which leads to recovery AKA time spent on the couch doing little physical activity, but still eating like you’re training for the Olympics. (because we’re Americans and have ZERO CONTROL).

Can we all also agree that this statement is rude as hell?! What about all the workout beginners who are just in pain because working out is THE WORST and, if you have taken any extended amount of time off, you know that it will all hurt for a while. Just because life thinks it’s funny I guess. ‘Oh you want to be healthy and live longer? I’m going to make you work, suffer, and cry for it’ – Life. ‘Oh you want to be happy, comfortable, and pain free? I’m going to make sure your metabolism disappears and that just thinking about eating will make you gain weight’ – also Life.

Is that why yoga is so popular now? You can “work out” and feel like you didn’t do anything. I don’t want to get into my opinions on yoga…don’t feel a need to drive away mass amounts of readers for no real reason. All I’ll say, is that I believe yoga is a great supplement to other physical activities. I’m not a yogi, if you couldn’t tell. I’ve never felt good after a yoga workout, though, which is probably the reason. The instructors always tell me to stretch deeper which is PAINFUL because my flexibility leaves a lot to be desired if I’m honest. And, in case you missed the point of this post, pain is NOT what I’m aiming for.

Pilates I like. Barre should not even be considered a low impact workout – I didn’t know there were so many muscles in my butt that could hurt so bad. I’ve iced my a** one time and I’ve done a Barre workout one time. Coincidence? 100%! That was one of those workouts I had to take constant breaks from…at a random point during an exercise and not during designated water breaks. I also shed several tears.

Running is weird because jogging is considered low impact, but running is high impact? I’m as confused as you are with that sentence, but it’s actually true (Google it, I dare you). What’s the difference between running and jogging? I still haven’t figured that out because all knowing Google describes jogging as a pace that allows one to maintain a conversation…it also describes running (other than full on sprinting) as conversational pace. I’m about as lost as I was in every history class ever. Whole different topic though, let’s not even touch that right now.

‘So, Restless Professional, how am I supposed to stay physically active without finding myself in pain?’ – You, the reader. Cycling then? Rowing? Stairmaster? Horizontal running? You do you – there’s lots of options out there. For clarification, I never claimed to be a fitness expert. Merely an opinionated person who doesn’t believe in the pain for gains mentality. I like being able to walk without waddling and not having my co-workers judge my assumed personal life decisions. You know what they say about assumptions Karen?! They make an a** out of you…also me I think but that part seems irrelevant here. And we’ve entered another quote rabbit hole.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you are someone who also actively avoids pain then we are twinning hard core and you should share this with them. Brag about that to your peers. Thanks for reading!

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