It’s been a few years since Dreamworks turned back time and decided that the troll “action” figures needed to be animated in their own entire feature film. Of all the popular toys, though, from the late 1900’s, this was probably the safest choice. Also, the children of today have no smurf-like characters to compare tiny things to. As an “adult”, I didn’t hate it. Didn’t love it enough for a World Tour, but the children have spoken so here we are.

There’s a LOT to unpack from the official 2 minute and 46 second commercial. Easter eggs galore that I really hope expand into the movie itself – maybe Easter egg is not an appropriate metaphor here since they’re bigger than a troll. Pebbles? Music notes? Whatever you want to call it, if the movie is anything like the trailer, it will be confusing, highly predictable, yet somehow addictive and catchy.

Rejected Cricket Characters

A Cricket commercial extra is our first intro to the movie. Like the sun from Teletubbies, but blue, fuzzy, and appears to be at least a young adult. Which would kind of fit with the timeline of life.

Charlotte and her Web

Charlotte herself appears and has changed drastically since her 2003 film debut. For starters, she put on a Barney colored costume and lowered her voice several octaves. She now sounds like Joey when he’s talking to a woman.

Alice in Wonderland

Poppy channels her inner Alice and travels to Wonderland for her opening trailer music scene. Dancing flowers, mushrooms, and caterpillars. Only missing the rabbit with his stopwatch and one would not be sure which movie they were watching.

Avril Lavigne is Back

Avril Lavigne’s troll version is the main villain, but has mad guitar skills and can shred with the best of them. I could get behind the rockers.

Are History Classes not a Thing at Troll School?

Clearly, the Trolls don’t have history classes in school. Do they even have school? Everyone would pass if they gave each other a hug so graduating would need to be taken with a hint of skepticism. Did they think they were the only ones? Selfish.

Made in 2nd Grade

Did…did one of the illustrator’s children design the ancestor lineage? It’s like an arts and crafts project gone slightly wrong. It looks like someone dropped a bunch of triangles and circles on the page.

Techno is Organized…Who Knew?

The techno trolls are surprisingly organized, but also seem to be the least stressed. Is anyone surprised by this? You shouldn’t be. Their fan section looks straight off a music producer’s beatpad.

Mean Girls

The rocker trolls are unnecessarily dramatic. Yes, they have Avril Lavigne as their leader, but really? The whole world? Keep it in check. Everyone deserves to live the life they want sans music genre dictators.

Cuffing Season – It’s Never Too Early

Poppy has her fantasy cuffing moment with Branch standing right beside her. No pressure or anything Branch, but that is definitely a hint!

Country Songs are Accurate

The country trolls look nice, but appear to be holding some deep founded grudge. Probably from a broken heart at some point in between the circles and triangles of their history.

Biggie is Relatable…Still

Biggie is every person on a roller coaster ever in this commercial. We only get him for a few seconds, but he maximizes them. In the air: “Oh, look. I think I can see our house from up here!”. Me, on a roller coaster: “I think I can see my car from up here!”.

Tiny for President

Tiny has more swag than any human I’ve ever met. His whole body is shiny, and in a classy way if I may say so myself. He doesn’t use backup dancers, or hype men, because he is enough on his own. Then his voice is a beautiful mix between Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones. I’m here for it.

Lowkey, I’m excited to see this movie. Not pay for a theater ticket excited, but definitely in a if-it-comes-to-Netflix-and-I’m-done-binge-watching-my-current-series excited. The title is a tad misleading, after the trailer breakdown, I think Trolls: Separated By Genres, Reunited Against Rock would have been more appropriate, but then again, I’m not a movie titler for a reason.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you are secretly excited for the new Trolls / modern day Smurfs movie don’t be ashamed – own that side of you like troll Avril owns her bark guitar. Thanks for reading!

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