The traditional business calendar officially recognizes four long weekends every year. One starts on a Friday while we’re all still in food comas and, conveniently, don’t even know, or wouldn’t be functional otherwise. The others, thankfully, fall on Mondays, which is really what the human spirit needs. Monday is probably the day of the week least suited to start a workweek. What does Monday bring to the table really? Nothing. Endless planning meetings. Moody customers. Five whole days of work ahead. Weak food and drink specials. What a resume! 

I believe that Tuesday was created to kick off our weeks and, somewhere along the way, we goofed up and accidentally started on Monday. I’m guessing since we were just so excited to get out of the house and into the office. Clearly this happened a very long time ago, when technology wasn’t a thing, so the office was a social gathering of sorts. You could get away from all of your responsibilities and make some money. Kind of an appealing sales pitch, honestly. Our gungho spirit pushed us into the office one day too early and instead of admitting the mistake, we just stuck with it. Like the proud Americans that we are!

Hindsight is always 20/20, though, and I’m ready to argue for why we need to put Tuesday back in its rightful place. At the beginning of the work week. Because Tuesday is everything that Monday is not. Tuesday has taco and marg specials, for one. Tuesday also gives everyone an entire extra day of rest each weekend so the workweek isn’t as daunting. Meaning people aren’t as moody. And if they are, throw some $2 tacos down their throats, because I have yet to meet someone who can be angry and eat a taco at the same time. Pretty sure it’s physically impossible! There would also have to be fewer meetings since the work week would be an entire day shorter. No more unnecessary shooting of the wind just to hit the hour mark. Get in, get out, get to work. Efficiency at its finest!

Think about this. Even if you start to dread Terrible Tuesday, as we probably will eventually after the novelty wears off, it’s 24 whole hours less terrible than Monday. Monday doesn’t even need an adjective in front of it. It is it’s own adjective at this point. What a Monday! That shirt is so Monday! If you were a day of the week, you’d be a Monday, Karen! Imagine what this would also do for Sundays … you could scream at your favorite football team in peace. You could go to the grocery store whenever without having to be back in time to meal prep. You could start chores after dinner and not worry about completing them before a reasonable adult bedtime. You could drink anything you wanted knowing the next day you could crush some breakfast sammies to feel better.

Even better, imagine all of the Spirit Sunday drink specials that would certainly pop up! I mean, if you enjoy a good mixed drink, something on the rocks, a classic shot, or just the DIY drink making, there would be no more judgement. No more concern over the number of recovery hours between fun and productivity. No more closing up shop early. No more sad Sundays. So many plus sides to this. You may be thinking: ‘But what about all the Monday activities? What would happen to those? Places would just close early then and I would push all my responsibilities off until that afternoon anyways.’ Well, these are good points. I don’t know for certain, but maybe if we tried it we would get an answer? This five days of work consecutively is a lot and I wouldn’t be super sad if it went away. 

Anyways, long rant short, Tuesday is ready to shoulder this responsibility. It’s been preparing the entire time the modern work week calendar has been in place to take this burden on. It’s prepared with drink specials, food specials, trivia, adult sport leagues, college athletic competitions, and one less day of work. Pretty much checks off all my requirements for shortening the week. What would it take for you to jump aboard the Tuesday train?

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!

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