I’m going to start by saying that I love my siblings very much. Just needed to put that out there so I don’t get blackballed from future family gatherings / gift exchanges. It has, however, recently been brought to my attention that I am the least successful sibling. Which is interesting. Because I don’t remember when I went from first to worst. Last time I checked I was riding a solid middle of the pack wave.

At some point, fairly recently, I clearly fell down the totem pole. Could it have been because the rest of my siblings are annoyingly successful at everything? Probably. They’re those people who could get pushed backwards out of a first story window and land on their feet. That’s barely possible for cats. Who are known for their nimbleness and immortality. Do you know someone like this? No? Then you’re probably this person. Own it! Not all of us have been blessed by the life gods. 

Nothing like accomplishing something you didn’t think was possible, like landing a real adult job after graduation, only to have your freaking sibling pipe up right after to announce they’ve been invited to have dinner with the Prime Minister for their dedication to inclusion with the international students on campus. What?! Excuse me, but this is not your sharing time. I am now officially contributing to society at the lowest possible level a college degree will get you. Go somewhere else with all that. Maybe the UK? They seem to want to talk more about what an amazing human being you are. 

Has this ever happened to you? Do you find it irritating? It’s kind of like ordering an amazing cone of ice cream at the beach just to step outside and have the whole thing melt immediately in the sauna and fall to the ground. Then you have to figure out what your next “big” move will be. And then, you have to figure out how to actually implement the next “big” move. And then, you have to start tracking towards the end goal of your next “big” move. And then, when you finally accomplish this “big” move, your siblings have casually become a walk-on star athlete, a National College Student of the Year, and the go-to security engineer at a major tech company. It’s fine. That’s fine. I’m fine. If anyone cares I’ve learned how to use my Crock-Pot. 

It’s an endless cycle. Because now I have to find an even bigger “big” move. One that will surely outdo whatever my siblings decide to bring up in casual dinner conversation. Get a puppy? So much commitment, though. Start a business? But doing what? Become a celebrity? Highly plausible. The ultimate social media achievement. Lots of influence. This is clearly an attainable goal that will outshine whatever grandchild, Nobel Prize, or technological creation my siblings will be able to speak on. 

I believe the real issue here may be time-management. While I am able to successfully work, be mildly social, and a binge-watching pro (more on how to successfully complete a binge-watch marathon in THIS POST), it appears that some people have an extra block. Dedicated to actual goals? Where do I sign up for this? My schedule is clearly very full as is. I guess I could give up social things? Is it worth it? Nah. All my siblings are very social so that must not be the weak spot here. Oh! Duh! It’s work. I need to quit my job. Can’t believe I was today years old when I realized what a freaking ball and chain the office was in my pursuit of most successful sibling.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!

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