Does anyone else absolutely avoid making doctor’s appointments? The whole thing is kind of a hassle and I, for one, just don’t like going to the doctor. Because when do you have to go to the doctor? When you’re not feeling well. When you’re injured. When you need an annual “check-up” where they can offer “helpful” suggestions on how to change your lifestyle. When you need a prescription refill (and continue to take your chances with the SIDE EFFECTS). When another doctor refers you. When your kid falls into any of the aforementioned options. 

Ok, I think you get it. Typically you aren’t just hitting up the doctor’s offices the same way you would a grocery store – on a weekly basis and in an excited fashion. For starters, the DECOR OPTIONS are interesting. Then, making an appointment is almost always a hurdle. You just have to be available indefinitely over the next year to hopefully get scheduled. And never at a convenient time. Always at like 1:15PM on a Thursday where you have to rearrange work meetings, figure out when you’re going to eat lunch, and then remember to put on pants. 

Finally, you arrive at your appointment and then the real waiting game begins. You wait to be called back to a room. You wait for the doctor to come in. You wait for the checkout person to schedule your next visit. You wait at the pharmacy to pick up your prescription. You wait for the copay to hit your credit card statement. You wait for your test results to come back. You wait for the bill to be mailed. Fun times all around, really! 

So, clearly going to the doctor is an exciting time for me, specifically. Maybe you feel differently, and that’s fantastic! I think we can all agree, though, that despite your feelings about talking on the phone, or to a person, to schedule another appointment, there are certain things you don’t want to hear from your doctor during the visit. Specifically, these phrases come to mind:

• Huh, that’s new
• I’ve never seen that before
• Well that doesn’t look good
• Let’s talk about your diet
• Let’s talk about your exercise routine
• I think we should do some blood work
• Your blood work came back abnormal
• I’ve got some bad news
• This is not a good range to be in
• I’d like to schedule a follow-up appointment
• I’m going to refer you to a specialist
• Go ahead and take it easy for 4-6 weeks
• Should be a quick recovery, but just in case let’s see each other again in about 8 weeks
• Let’s try this medicine and see how it works
• Insurance won’t cover that
• They can take your copay at the exit desk
• You have COVID

Basically, it breaks down to this. We don’t like surprising doctors with the reason for our visit. We don’t like turning the camera around on our lives and having to admit that we aren’t being as healthy as we should be, or worse, we haven’t been following previous instructions from this very doctor. We don’t like having our blood drawn and analyzed, because that internal stuff is so hard to control. But, also, ugh needles and veins and pinching and nope. We don’t like getting bad news – does anyone? We don’t like having to follow-up on the same issue – please just fix it! Same with work meetings, it should be a one and done. We don’t like a time range – just pick one end of the spectrum and be confident about it. We don’t like being experimented on with prescription drugs. Is there an OTC alternative? Great! Let’s start there. We don’t like spending money to be told that something is wrong. We knew that, thus the visit. Maybe I should replace all these we’s with me? Anyone else feel the same? 

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!

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