STOUFFER’S COOKING TIMES ARE UNACCEPTABLE

When you’re hungry, all you want is food ASAP. That’s why fast food is our favorite pastime in the great US of A. We will actively go to whichever drive thru line is the shortest just to avoid waiting. Because honestly, who has time. Life is too short as is and I don’t want to spend it in a line behind someone who isn’t aware that it’s ok to look at the menu before arriving at the FRONT OF THE LINE

Microwave meals are another fan favorite for this very reason. Quick and simple. The best of both worlds. You’ve already purchased it at the store so the decision making side of the process has already been completed. All you have to do is make it warm. In a few short minutes, you’ll be feasting, likely in front of a screen since food and entertainment are a more popular combo than peanut butter and jelly.

It’s not just food where we crave speed, however. Surfing the net, online shopping, hearing about a job, etc. our patience levels last the same amount of time as the memory of a goldfish. We want it and we want it now. In my opinion, food is the most critical of the options. Hanger is not just a fun millennial term, it is an actual mood. Have you ever been hangry? There is but one cure and it is food so time is of the absolute essence for all those around you. Seriously, the longer it persists the more your soul will lash out. Nobody wants that. Nobody.

So knowing how impatient we are as a species, why are there still brands that are putting out meal options that take literal days to cook? If it’s frozen, it should be a fast fix. Not sure where that message is getting lost between consumers and the food producers, but I would like to reiterate that if I buy a frozen meal, I expect to be eating it within 15, 20 minutes max. Not a second more. Ideally many seconds less. Isn’t the point of frozen food that it’s basically already cooked? Other than uncooked meat, of course. We all know what we’re getting into in that section of the grocery store.

If you’ve never purchased a Stouffer’s frozen meal, you’ve never lived. Their mac n’ cheese and lasagna are heaven in an oven. After 60-75 minutes, though. SIXTY to SEVENTY FIVE MINUTES! What is this? An Italian restaurant? No, because I could order a piece of lasagna and have it given to me on a silver platter in 20 minutes. At most. Which is all of a third of the time that it would take me to do it myself.

Why DIY then, you may be asking yourself. I don’t have an answer. I have to believe Stouffer’s is doing to food what Coke did to soda when it first began. It’s incredibly addictive because it’s taste is literally like no other. You know when you have a Stouffer’s meal. Zero question. It’s not like any other frozen option on the market. So we put up with the honestly absurd cooking times to get a taste.

While cooking times are a crime in and of themselves, the serving sizes are a nightmare. Let’s not kid ourselves. If I’m going to wait for Stouffer’s, I’m going to eat all of the Stouffer’s. Family size? Challenge accepted. Large size, 3 servings? Please, more like lunch. Great for sharing? Sharing with myself maybe. Sure the smaller numbers on the nutrition label look appealing, but if you’re not going to eat any less, just mentally prepare yourself. Know what you’re getting into from the beginning and it’s hard to be disappointed later.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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