Tag: Clean

TINY HOUSE, MIGHTY PROBLEMS

Good things come in small packages. Heard that inspiration before? I can see how in some situations this is applicable and would be a fun, everything will work out, sign. In other situations, however, this feels like anti-logic. Rather unhelpful. Because sometimes good things come in big packages. Take space, for example. The more space you have, the more space you fill up … but the less space you have, the less amount of essentials you have. 

Space is super prevalent in a lot of scenarios. Housing, the office, a car trunk, the refrigerator, any public place in the world currently. Imagine if you voluntarily took your current fridge space and cut it down to about a tenth of the size. Sounds a bit irresponsible – where is all of your cookie dough going to go? What about all the orange juice and champagne? How will you keep cheese sticks? Sacrifices will have to be made. So long produce. Adios dairy products. It’s been real lunch meat. If the thought of having to restrict the amount of refrigerated goods you can keep at any given time doesn’t make you sad, I can honestly say that we have very different priorities in life.

What about the amount of trunk space in your vehicle? Some cars only come with enough space to hold all of one backpack. On purpose. And some people buy these cars knowing that a “trunk” feature is basically a lie. On purpose. I have a lot of questions about how one is able to survive life without a trunk, but those are good questions for another time. For all the normal people in the world, a trunk is a necessity. It’s where you can hide your valuables on vacation. It’s also a great place to put suitcases for a road trip. Believe it or not, it’s also incredibly handy when shopping. For food, or clothes, or home improvement project supplies, or plants, or sporting equipment, etc. 

I, for one, would not know what to do if I woke up tomorrow and my trunk had disappeared. Well, more accurately, my trunk and the backseat of my car. Where would I put my golf clubs?! How could I ever take another trip to Total Wine?! So much panic. And yet, the tiny house market is still a thing. Tiny houses look a lot like a shed. I think, though, that they’re smaller. What does one keep in a shed? Extra items that don’t fit between the house and the garage. What does one keep in a tiny house? Everything they own. Wait, wait, wait. In one version, it’s more of extra storage and in the other version it’s the whole storage limit? How does that work?

If you’re also confused, it’s not just you. The need to downsize makes sense. Personally, my collection of things has gotten a tad out of hand. But it would basically be impossible for me to downsize to the tiny house point. In the same square footage as my current bedroom, I would have a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a living / dining area. What actually … is that possible? What if you were cooking fish? Then you would smell it in your dreams because less space means less room for disbursement. Or if you made a Taco Bell run after work. Oh boy, that’s another time when you’d be praying for higher ceilings. 

Imagine trying to have friends over. You could have two, max. So it would be like russian roulette – who do you like the best out of your friend group? They get to come over and nobody else. Don’t even get me started on trying to live there as a couple. If you had a disagreement, where would you go for space? The front porch? All of five feet away from the back porch where your significant other is taking time to themselves? That seems like a recipe for disaster. I guess what I’m confused about, is how much is too much when it comes to decluttering? Reduce your footprint by reducing your space, your sanity, and everything you’ve ever loved. That seems like a hard line between acceptable and a bit unhinged. But what do I know? I currently take up an entire master closet by myself. Space sharing is not really one of my better features. Alas, I also have a stress shopping problem so which issue needs to be addressed first? I like option C, neither – all is fine. I’m fine. You’re fine. Anyone not in a tiny house is fine.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!

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WHAT IS EVEN THE PURPOSE OF A FITTED SHEET?

Sleeping on soft, clean sheets is such an amazing feeling. Because you don’t know who I am, I won’t lie and say I wash my sheets every day – although if the bed making process weren’t so complicated I would be more inclined to act like an adult and get clean sheets more often. Regular sheets make sense. Don’t want to sleep straight on the mattress. You’d wake up with all those fun sleep lines, but amplified based on your mattress pattern. Your leg would look quilted. Luckily that’s “in” right now in the fashion world so at least you wouldn’t look completely ridiculous.

Comforters also make sense. If you just had a sheet you’d be cold. And to avoid being cold you’d curl up into a tiny little ball. Then in the morning, unpretzeling yourself would be quite the adventure with noises and popping on par with having aged 50 years overnight. If that isn’t convincing enough (because you make noises anyways…mid-20s going on 90, am I right?!) just think of how sore you’ll be all day long from sleeping in such an unnatural position for 8 hours…ok 7 hours…no, fine, 4 and, maybe a half, hours, but still a long time!

You know what else makes sense? Pillowcases. I mean, you could just sleep on the pillow I guess. But anyone who saw your bed would hard core judge your decisions. Of EVERYTHING on the bed, pillowcases are the cheapest things…and they come with the sheet sets. Did you throw them away?! Why don’t you have any?! You have sheets on the bed, so what’s the deal here?!

A bed skirt doesn’t really make sense. First of all, why a skirt? You don’t call a tablecloth a table skirt and yet it hangs the same way. A bed cloth does kind of sound like a diaper so I guess that’s why they went a different route. I don’t really get what these are for, though. Wikipedia says it goes between the mattress and the box spring to hide the exposed part of the box spring and any under the bed storage. Mmkay, several things:

  1. What’s a box spring? There’s the mattress and the bed frame, or is this something that used to be a thing? If you have a box spring (that you need to hide, apparently) maybe just jump into this century and get a new mattress…which I’m guessing has the box spring built in? Or maybe they are just that much better than what you were sleeping on.
  2. Who are you hiding your under-the-bed storage from? How many randos are in your bedroom at any given time? Actually, don’t answer that. But in all seriousness, own that sh*t! Everyone stuffs random things under their bed and if they say they don’t, they’re liars…or filthy rich and have closets bigger than your house – one or the other.

That just leaves the fitted sheet in the bedding set, which, in case the title of the post was unclear, makes zero sense. Two sheets, I get (don’t want to get under the sheet and sleep on the mattress – if you don’t know why then a) how dare you skip to this part of the post and b) it’s listed above). Why, though, does it have to be fitted? Is tucking in a regular sheet not good enough? Does it come untucked easier? Because the fitted sheets don’t seem to stay super great…or so I’ve heard from aggressive sleeper friends of mine.

If it has to be fitted, why are they so complicated? Every side is the same length until you start making the bed and then all of a sudden they are different? Like a terribly frustrating optical illusion. Don’t even get me started on folding a fitted sheet. It springs back in on itself so you can’t even lay out the rounded corners. Something about putting the corners inside each other. I don’t even bother anymore, I just leave it in a ball on top of the other sheet in the set. I can feel your judgement, but the joke is on you because when the bed is made, nobody can see how wrinkly my BOTTOM-MOST LAYER OF SHEET IS. That’s assuming I take the time to put it on the bed, which is usually not the case. If I’m being totally honest, I just sleep under the comforter (yes, on top of the sheets), so I really just need the regular (sense-making) sheet.

More power to all you fitted sheet users, though! You’re clearly adulting better than I am and I tip my hat to you. Still won’t be wrestling and fighting a fitted sheet anytime soon, but I can dream about the day when I’m rich enough to pay someone to make my bed for me.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who doesn’t struggle with the fitted sheet, ask them to teach you their tricks. For all the other (normal) readers, know that you are not alone. Thanks for reading!

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