NOT ALL TOILETS ARE CREATED EQUAL

Let’s get awkward. Everyone has to use the bathroom. Women included. Why is that a relationship milestone? Comfort level: the girl uses the bathroom … just like me … interesting. I have so many questions on this, but that’s not really the point of this post. Ah, but I can’t resist, let’s address a few of them really quick. Number one quick. What do you think is happening in women’s restrooms? How else would they clear their systems of Taco Bell? Do you understand how human digestive systems work? If so, do you also understand that men and women both have digestive systems? That isn’t a one way street. It’s not a level up prize for part of the human species. Ok, I have to stop before I get further down this drain.

Are diapers considered toilets? Disposable toilets? One and done dump stations? Technically, they are engineered for one purpose. Which, of course, is containment. Although they don’t go into the sewer system … so are they just trash? Disgusting trash, but I guess technically still a stinking piece of garbage. On the other hand, it’s a designated area for the business. I’m genuinely curious now. According to the top hit on a brilliant Google search, they are merely a back-up and “not full-time toilets”. I don’t have children, you’re welcome universe, but I have friends with children. Who I’m sure would argue that the diaper IS a full-time toilet until a grown-up, plastic, potty training toilet can be introduced. What parent out there is using diapers as merely a backup option? You’re telling me that you spend the day closely monitoring the child and hoping to correctly guess at which point to rush them into the bathroom? No. No, I don’t buy that. We are all much too busy to be observant to someone else’s bowel schedule.

Ok so we will remove them from evaluation. Let’s stick to toilets that are purely not disposable or plastic in nature. Like a Scrubbing Bubbles toilet gel. Which, I find to be one of the most fun cleaning products on the market. And I just aged a million years writing that sentence. I have no regrets, though. What better way to clean than to give your toilet bowl a shot and walk away. 1, 2, done. No need to count to three, the toilet can’t feel what’s happening. Bathroom cleaned. Everything should have an automatic, clinging, cleaning gel. The sink, the oven, the baseboards, any surface that accumulates dust, the shower, your car, your phone case, etc. My life would be spotless. But my immune system would be garbage.

Anyways, I’m deeply distressed about the wide variety of power that comes from a supposedly standard toilet. There is a power spectrum and I don’t understand why they can’t all be equal. Does it cost more for force generation in the flush? Another thing that I genuinely don’t know. I’ve never bought a toilet. No, if there are plumbing problems I just move. It feels easier and less gross. Let’s go over the power spectrum (in order from weak to The Rock):

The Pincher

This type of toilet flushes whatever you dropped in there the same way you would hold a used bandaid away from you. Between your thumb and index finger with the most minimal contact possible

The Tease

This type of toilet thinks it’s funny to act like it’s not going to do anything unless you drop a hippo on the lever. The stronger you push down, the stronger the flush swirl seems to get

The I Can Do This All Day

This type of toilet is responsive, but just swirls and swirls and swirls. Which is great at a water park, but not great when you’re waiting to get the answer to the will I / won’t I need the plunger question.

The Vortex

This type of toilet is the strongest I have encountered on the residential market. You flush, it disappears. No questions. Get in, get out.

The Airplane Mode

This is the ultimate toilet. On both power and fear factor levels. It can read your mind. Before you even hit flush it has vanished and left a deafening rush of wind in your ears. Nothing like fear to make you need to make another trip to the toilet.

As you can see, there is a broad spectrum of strengths. Why? Simply why? How have the first half of the spectrum survived into 2020? Clearly they’ve been here since like the dinosaurs because even my grandma can swirl a glass of wine faster than some of these bowls. Is it personal preference? Are there people who actually like the weaker options? Why? Why buy angel hair pasta when you could have lasagna? Makes zero sense. 

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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IF MY DOG HAD A JOB

In honor of National Take Your Dog to Work Day, I took some precious work hours to imagine what life would be like if my dog had a job. How does she stay focused? What would she do? Would it be strictly for money, or would she actually enjoy her field? Does she have bills she has to pay? Is that why she has a job? How does she type? Does she even have a computer? Is it less of a tech-y role and more relationship building? How is she working remotely? Who taught her to use a computer and the webcam? Is she a contributor, or does she stare at her beautiful self on camera all day? How has she not been fired? What are her goals and how is she focused enough to meet that? How does she communicate with her co-workers? Do they speak dog?

I could keep going, but for the sake of time, and post length, let’s start with those and see what fun path we end up on. For starters, my dog’s attention span is negative. Unless you have food or have a squeaky toy. In both cases, she is laser focused. This poses several problems in a work environment. One being that no one could keep snacks at their desk because co-worker Dog would be at their side all day and, thus, not contributing her fair share of the work. Another one being that most people would get annoyed at the constant sound of a high pitch squeak from a questionably clean ball. The other major issue is that what happens when neither of these attention grabbers are present? She’s a loose cannon. Nobody knows. Could be sleeping on the carpet. Climbing on a desk. Begging to be pet. Sniffing a chair for the thousandth time. So many potential options.

Given the lack of productivity, what would she do? I’m thinking brand ambassador for something like pet food, pet supplies, or Windex (because there is no spatial awareness between her wet nose and the glass, let’s be honest). Clearly she isn’t in it for the money – she’s a dog. What would she do with money. Probably try and put it in her mouth which is a separate issue. Besides, being a brand ambassador comes with perks. Depending on the industry she could get free food, free squeaky toys, or free attention. Her three favorite things.

This is clearly the right title for more reasons than her attention span and ridiculous cuteness. If given a computer, she would just try to sniff it, lick it, or bite it. Again, we’re talking about a dog without opposable thumbs. Or the capacity to perform computer type tasks. I love my dog (MORE THAN I LOVE PEOPLE) and she is fairly intelligent, but imagine asking your pet to turn on a computer and open the Internet. Pets work on routine. Computer tasks are not routine. If they were, a robot would do them for us. So relationship building it is! Can’t think of a more perfect role for an outgoing pup. Meet new people … constantly. Get them to like you, and we’ll give you a treat. 

With the current situation in the world, you’re probably wondering the same thing as me. Which, of course, is how brand ambassadors are working remotely. Video calls / appearances? Probably works well for humans. But remember how we’ve been over the less than ideal scenario that is your pet using a computer, or a phone, or a tablet, or a smart watch, etc. In an alternate reality, let’s pretend that a human friend (the owner, perhaps) has set up the video call for the dog. What a nice thing to do, you may be thinking. I know my dog, though, and if she saw herself on camera it would be game over. She spends a ridiculous amount of time staring at herself in the mirror so add a bunch of unrecognizable noises coming from the reflection and her head would be in a constant curious tilt. Probably wondering how she could be so beautiful that the reflection wants to talk to her. 

Which, then would beg the question how she has not been fired? There’s only so many times you want to see a dog’s nose right up close and personal in the camera before you realize she isn’t listening to a word you’re saying. She’s in her own world. Has met zero goals. Has no strategy for changing her behaviors and getting back on track. Just a pup entranced by the sight of herself.

Out of this entire scenario, the part I find the most mind-boggling is how she would communicate with her co-workers. Do these humans have a gift I do not of reading the minds of a dog and interpreting their barks? Are they able to respond? Because as far as I know the only words she answers to currently are her name, food, walk, and outside. Seems like a limited choice for making coherent, work related, sentences. Imagine if you were trying to get through her thick skull and accidentally said a trigger word – all progress would be lost. She would be spinning in circles running back and forth to either her food bowl or her leash. And, just like that, all focus is once again lost and someone (probably the owner) would be taking a brief exercise lap around the block for the third time that morning.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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ARE CATFISH THE LAZIEST OF FISHES?

Animal species vary greatly, not only in appearance, diet, and fatality, but also in levels of activity. What kind of creatures do you think of as being active? Go ahead, picture that real quick. I would bet a portion of my savings, not all of it because I’m not a mind reader and humans will say anything to make a quick buck, that you didn’t think of cat or fish just now. Nope. Those are the first two I think of whenever someone asks me what a lazy animal looks like. Well, if someone ever asked me that, those are two I would think of. Shockingly, that question has not come up in conversation yet over the course of my life. I clearly need better friends.

For all the cat lovers out there, I am going to warn you, not apologize, about the following content. For your sanity, and overall calm, it may be best to not keep going. I wouldn’t call myself a cat person, per se. We had a cat growing up. He was chill. I liked him. He also acted like a dog so I think there might be some things that we could read into that. But alas, I’m not a therapist and don’t feel properly educated to share those connections with the Internet. Fish lovers … I actually don’t know anyone who is a self-proclaimed fish lover. Fish as a food, sure, but fish as an animal, nope. 

No matter, onwards and upwards. To places a cat could climb, but a fish would not survive. Where were we? Oh right, lazy animals! Cats expect food, pets (only when they initiate it though), someone to clean up their crap, and unlimited reign of the house. Shall we break this down? We shall. Food: you have to buy them food and treats with your own money. But then they expect little nuggets of human food (chicken, milk, what not) because they can’t be bothered with “cat” food. Dry? Wet? Yes. To both. Because they have to eat a little bit of each for optimal nutrition. Supposedly. Most cats look like they are leaving a lot to be desired in the nutrition department. Then, after you spend more time and money prepping their meals, they want to be pet. Only until they decide they’re done, though. Then watch out because they can and will bite you. Up to this point, I don’t see the appeal. Is it that you get to scoop their litter box? That’s what makes owning a cat rewarding? Or is it that they have zero sense of personal space? Shower? Here I come! Working? I’ll sit on the keyboard to help you. 

That feels like enough to hate on the felines for now. Moving under the sea. Fish? Fish owners get zero value out of these. They get an emptier wallet for sure. Unless you’re keeping fish to eventually eat? In which case, what even? Are you running a baby slaughterhouse? Take the humane approach and buy it post-mortem. Watching fish swim is … an experience? A waste of time? Mind numbing? Heartless? Take your pick. You put a living creature in a very small container where they can swim laps for years until they give up and swim towards the ceiling light. Surely they’re bored. At least bored of staring at your giant face pushed right up against their entire living room wall.

Fish pretty much spend their whole lives searching for food. Despite how great of a movie Finding Nemo was, I feel like it was a bit dramaticized. If you spent your whole life wandering around the kitchen searching for pellets to eat, people would call you lazy. So it only makes sense that fish are lazy. You can argue that they’re at least exercising constantly because they have to move the fins to just stay in place. Mmm … ok, sure. We also move when shifting around the couch to find the optimal position. Is that also exercise? Exactly. 

Let’s wrap this up. You have cats, which are selfish, moody, and lazy. You have fish that are lazy and solitary. Then you have catfish – the epitome of laziness. All the weird cat traits mixed with fish traits. They hide in holes and wait for curious animals to wander in so they can eat it. On the one hand, that’s clever because every species has the few that wander into dark places to “explore”. That never ends well. What do you think is in there? Lucky Charm himself? A talking dog? Piles of diamonds? I have so many questions. On the other hand, live a little. Explore the riverbed you’re burrowed in!

In summary, catfish expect to be fed, they have no sense of personal space, and they’re moody – have you ever seen a picture of one? I don’t know who fed them a bad algae, or if they’re just having a bad hair day, but wow. They don’t look like cats. They don’t look like fish. Maybe that’s why they look pissed off? They don’t belong with anyone they’re supposed to! The personal crisis they must face daily must be excruciating.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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GROCERY STORES: FUN, OR NAH?

What’s the best time of day? Food time, obviously, so for me basically every hour is amazing. It’s the little things that get you through the workday and I’m not ashamed to excuse myself from meetings to use the “restroom” – know what I mean? In case you’re not smelling what I’m cooking, it’s code for the kitchen and some sort of snack, meal or dessert. I don’t have a medical issue where all the important things in my life get put on hold for a quick trip to the bathroom like the drug commercial makes it seem. 

Speaking of drugs (the legal kind), what is up with the side effects? Everything is deadly (you can read all about my pharmaceutical questions in THIS POST), which, now that I think about it makes sense because I’m basically dead inside if I spend my life in a bathroom stall and not doing fun things, like walking around a grocery store. Well I, for one, find it fun. How else would I know that Cheez-Its released a cheesier version of their product? I literally did not know that was possible. I’m also disappointed that they weren’t maximizing cheesiness from the beginning.

Or how would I be able to feel what type of bread was calling my name for the week? There are way too many bread options and, like a good supporter of the food industry, I feel a need to try them all. But it would be ok if like 80% of the choices disappeared. Would anyone even know? What even is the difference between whole wheat whole grain and enriched whole wheat whole grain? Do I need 5 grains, 7 grains, or 12 grains? How many grains are too many grains? I thought oatmeal was much smaller and potatoes rounder, yet both are bread so which one is the lie?

Better yet, how would I be able to spend the entire trip through the aisles wondering if I’m going to die sooner because I bought regular, drug-created, produce and not the organic version like a straight muggle? If you haven’t figured this out from my previous posts, I actually enjoy these kinds of questions. Makes me feel like I’m really maximizing my life and fine-tuning my attention to detail. Normal people, however, find these decisions stressful and consuming (so I’ve been told). These people also see grocery shopping as more of a chore and not necessarily a hobby. Luckily, smart people figured out that grocery delivery and pick up services were what the first-world was missing. And all the introverts rejoiced along with actual adults who have much less time and energy than me to spend on things like deciding if the current bag of Mystery Oreo’s in my hand will be yet a different flavor than the other seven bags in my pantry.

Regardless of where you fall on the love / hate relationship with the grocery store, I think we can all agree that it’s a social experiment. If I was a hiring manager (which, shockingly, I am not), I would take all my candidates to the nearest Whole Foods to get a live presentation of how they would react to different situations at work. Specifically, you can easily tell several key traits about someone based on their shopping habits. Problem solving, resourcefulness, collaboration, navigation (also known as public relations), and expectation management (or marketing as it goes by in the streets).

Let’s break this down:

  • Problem Solving
    • When the store is out of hamburger buns, but you signed up to bring hamburgers (and all necessary supplies) to the cookout tonight, what do you do instead?
  • Resourcefulness
    • Despite what I can only believe to be a mediocre, at best, directional effort, the yeast is nowhere to be found. How do you find it?
  • Collaboration
    • When you see someone accidentally knock a bag of chips off the shelf, what do you do?
    • Alternatively, when checking out, what kind of customer are you? Load the belt and wait, or help bag?
  • Navigation / PR
    • As you go to turn down the aisle for your last item, you notice a giant traffic jam of carts and other shoppers. How do you handle this unexpected twist to finish your trip without wrecking havoc?
  • Expectation Management / Marketing
    • When the store said that they had the newest cereal item (that most certainly does NOT pair well with milk – the candy cereals need to disappear) but they don’t even have a place on the shelf for it and now your children are upset and about to make a scene, what do you tell them?

Feel free to use that tactic in your future interviews. Better yet, if you do, I would love to hear about it! If you want to win this social experiment, when you’re interviewing for a job and they ask if you have any questions, see if you can flip this around and see what kind of leaders they are.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this and want to share it with them, that would seriously mean a lot to me. I’m so grateful to all the current readers and subscribers – if you want to get these in your inbox twice weekly don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks for reading!


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DEAR SUCCULENTS: IF I WANTED TO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING, I WOULD GET A DOG

I have a confession to make…I have committed a terrible sin. Honestly, I’m embarrassed to tell you what happened, but I feel like we’re on that level now, you and me, so here goes nothing:

In an apartment, not too long ago, a tragic homicide happened. A human (let’s call them a restless professional) was living their best life, minding their own business, not giving a care in the world. Now this human had been gifted a succulent. Mind you, no one asked said human if they were prepared, or even if they wanted, to take on the burden of caring for another living thing. To commit to ensuring that this plant would be fed and loved. No, there was no asking just a bold statement followed by the heavy click of the ball and chain now trapping the free-spirited human into responsibility.

So now the human had an (unwanted) succulent. The human, tending to look for the best in any situation, thought: ‘Well, plants have lots of health benefits so maybe this will be good! Besides, worst case scenario, my roommate is growing a small, thriving, forest on our balcony so they can help me out.’ And so the human took the succulent and put it on the windowsill (because everyone knows that plants need sunlight. I mean, come on, the human isn’t that clueless!). There the succulent lived happily in the warm, direct sunlight for a day, then two, then three, then a week, then two weeks, then three weeks, etc.

One day (about a month later) the human came home from work to find that it was still light outside (apparently some people get home before dark every day, lucky duckies). Desperately wanting to enjoy the last rays of warm, direct, sunlight they went over to the window and basked in the Vitamin D. Feeling truly elated, and a bit invincible, the human glanced down at the windowsill and noticed a little pot with nothing inside it. Seemed strange that the roommate would pack a pot full of dirt and then put nothing in it…maybe they were finally losing their touch? Maybe it was the human’s turn to show the world that, although they still get nervous when having to actually TALK on the phone to make an appointment, and don’t buy groceries that either can’t be microwaved or aren’t immediately ready for consumption, in fact they were a responsible adult and their parents could stop worrying about having to clean out their basement for a make-shift bedroom.

Then reality hit. Like a ton of bricks strapped to the front of an 18-wheeler going 70MPH on the highway. That wasn’t the roommates pot! No, that was the succulent gifted to the human (who knows how long ago at this point). It was green and thriving when first handed over, but now it was so dead it looked like dirt. What does a responsible, caring, living their best life human do in this situation? Well the only thing that makes sense when seeing a dead plant of course – ran it to the sink and drowned it in water (because obviously it was thirsty or it wouldn’t have died).

Now, I would just like to point out that succulents, by nature, are supposed to need VERY little attention. Did I maybe neglect it for too long? Neglect is a strong word – I prefer the term forgot. I didn’t purposefully not water my succulent. In my mind, the succulent had been watered when it was given to me, therefore it would be a couple months before it was a thirsty hoe again. Turns out, I was thinking of a cactus. It also turns out that succulents and cacti are NOT one and the same (much to my disappointment).

There you have it! You’re supporting an (accidental) plant murderer. Well…actually, in a weird twist of fate, turns out my succulent is thirstier than I am because the drowning actually brought half of it back to life. I’m happy to report that the living half is doing great currently…and also that my roommate immediately took over its care.

Moral of the story is this, two things really:

  1. You can’t just be assuming that people are ready to take care of something. Chances are if they are only (barely) taking care of themselves it’s for a reason
  2. There needs to be better education around succulents – if I wanted to take care of something, I’d get a dog because they are 100,000,000 times more fun (but that’s for ANOTHER POST)
  3. (I lied, there are three morals – see you can’t be trusting me) Everyone and everyTHING gets thirsty at some point so please chill with the judgement

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who has mistakenly been entrusted with a succulent, or a fish, or another seemingly innocent living organism, please get them the help they need immediately. Thanks for reading!


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THAT QUESTION SEEMS VERY GOOGLE-ABLE

What makes you think I know the answer to your question? Does my face scream “walking encyclopedia of all the knowledge”? Because I’ve seen myself in the mirror and I’m giving off more of a “confused about what even APR is and why they can’t just say interest” vibe. I find it interesting that this is a massive problem in my life currently. Usually I’m dressed like the retired high school jock who isn’t able to quite move on from the glory days and yet somehow that tells people that I want to answer their questions…nay, I KNOW the answers to their questions.

Despite my best efforts to convince strangers that I’m not the source of all truth in the universe, I get questions like:

  • Which chemical elements have to combine to form magnesium phosphate? Mag and Pho obviously, it’s the newest dining craze
  • How many seconds are in 4.5 months? A lot
  • What is the secondary material in dry fit clothing? Fabric
  • How many miles long is South Beach? More than one
  • When was the DMV founded? At some point in the past
  • Are Oreos safe for a dog to eat? Probably not, but I’m not an expert here
  • Is it possible to eat a large pizza by yourself? Wait, I do know the answer to this one! Absolutely
  • How would I create a replica electrical circuit that turns on a light? Why would you want to do that?
  • If my car engine is screaming at me, what does that mean? Well, not anything good
  • Can you give me the exact number of people who attended the 1984 Super Bowl? Let me think…no
  • Did we leave the oven on? Unfortunately, no one knows the answer to this. We have a 50/50 chance
  • Who ate all the chocolate? I also know the answer to this … but if I tell you I’d have to kill you. Death by chocolate
  • How would one repair a shoe sole? Buy a new shoe

If only there was some technology that could help you out…just one, I’m not asking for a lot, but one thing that is so intelligent it’s slightly scary. Hold on, let me Google it and see what they have to say about it. Oh! My! Goodness! It’s Google itself those narcissistic little nerds! Not a Google fan you say? Their color scheme is a bit too primary for your tastes? Never fear, you can work with Watson, or Alexa, or Siri. Better yet, don’t just stick with one – call up several of these genius robots and see what their answers are.

In all my free time, I like to play a little game I call AI: Jealous or Nah? Here’s how it works: you put several machines right next to each other and take turns asking them different questions. OK Google, tell me when I’ll make enough money to retire? Alexa, will I wake up tomorrow craving oatmeal or eggs? Hey Siri, tell me a joke. Then ask the same three questions, but change the recipient. By the end of it you get a pretty decent joke and some fascinating queries into your future. My theory? They’re listening to you abandon them for the others so they feel an intense need to one-up the competition.

With so many options, I genuinely don’t get how the Internet is not everyone’s first place to try and find an answer. Not humans. Besides, you get an answer so much quicker that way. If you ask me, my baby peanut-sized brain will have to go Google it…or Alexa it, or Siri it, or Watson it. Go straight to the source, that way you can keep searching until you find an answer. Don’t get mad at me, I’m reading the top result for your sorry self – no way am I scrolling to page two of the results. I have better things to do, like Google ways to keep yourself entertained on a ship. Or how to propel down from a third story window (in case of a fire, duh). 

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who loves to ask questions, do everyone a favor and introduce them to Google. Give someone an answer and they’ll keep coming back, but teach someone to search and they will never speak to you again. Thanks for reading!


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I’M SO GLAD I’M PARKED ON THE HIGHWAY FOR AN ACCIDENT ON THE OTHER SIDE

We’re a curious species aren’t we? Always needing to know what’s happening regardless of what we are doing at that moment. Even if it’s something potentially dangerous like, say, driving, or entering the nuclear codes. 

Let’s take a journey to imagination island. Imagine if you were driving at a high speed (maybe…on a highway) and there are other cars all around you, because it’s rush hour, and something happens on the other side of the road (let’s say a fender bender, which has ZERO impact on your drive by the way). How do you react? Do you:

A. Keep your eyes on the road and maintain your speed because it’s dangerous not to

B. Glance briefly and hope everyone is ok, but keep on keeping on at your speed

C. Stop and stare

Just to be clear, C is not an acceptable answer in this scenario. I get it – you want to be nosy and feel a little better about being a good driver and paying attention. Oh, the irony there kills me. How can you judge the person who caused the accident when you yourself are about to cause another one?! Spoiler Alert: going from 70 to 10 on a HIGHWAY is not something the driver behind you is expecting. You might very well be the next fender bender victim. Who knows, maybe the first one was caused because one of the drivers saw a bird, or new construction starting  (you can get my thoughts on road construction in THIS POST) and slowed down to get a better look.

What’s worse than slowing down for something unrelated to your current drive? Being an innocent bystander stopped miles away from the site of the crash that happened on the other side of the road. Why does my commute have to get tripled because you can’t stop your eyes from wandering? I’m going to be late to work (and of course there’s an early meeting because the work gods are evil like that), my fuel efficiency is plummeting, odds are my preferred parking space will be taken, and my bladder is not cooperating. Then when you FINALLY reach the scene of the crime, there’s nothing left. So I’ve inched along at less than 5 MPH and I don’t even get to see what happened?! What a cruel world this can be. 

Needless to say, it would be better for everyone if you simply kept going at the stated speed limit. If you do happen to take your foot off the gas, please, for the sake of everyone else on the road, do it very quickly and then (very quickly) get back up to speed. All I want is to stop the madness of highway parking lots. If you live in a city, though, where you’re stopped simply because of the amount of people, then I can’t help you. Move somewhere else, explore public transportation, or live within walking distance of the office.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who tends to be an extra curious driver, share this post with them so they understand the ripple effect of their actions. Even better, ride with them and be that annoying backseat driver until they learn – highways are for driving and parking lots are for stopping. Thanks for reading!


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