I JUST REWATCHED LADY AND THE TRAMP AND I HAVE QUESTIONS

We all know everyone’s favorite spaghetti memory involves two dogs in love. Right? If you’ve never wanted to share the iconic meal on a date night to casually go in for a quick smooch, do you even have a soul? Anyways, I decided to rewatch the best dog love story created by Disney, to remind myself how great a dog’s love is, and have so many questions and furry observations:

  • The intro basically tells the entire plot through storyboard type drawings so why even watch the movie?
  • The fact that it’s dedicated specifically to dogs brings me more joy than it should
  • Remember mid-1950s animation? What a treat! But, also, thank goodness we’ve evolved technology wise
  • Lady’s Christmas present box has no air holes – she should be dead from the very start
  • Does Jim Dear actually think putting down a piece of newspaper is all it takes to house train a dog? And that it will ‘go right to sleep’? Were dogs not pets pre-1955 or is he just naive?
  • Let’s talk about all the dogs that can successfully only sleep on the bed for one night and then be fine sleeping somewhere else. And … we’re done. That’s not a real thing
  • Why would you give the dog coffee?! Are we to assume that it’s decaf? Because caffeine is poisonous for them
  • If anyone has ever owned a dog, you know that their dreams are the cutest thing in the world
  • What do we think they mean by getting the dog a license? Pretty sure you can buy a tag at anytime not just at the 6 month mark
  • How did the Tramp get in so good with all the restaurant owners? How do I also get them to know my name and give me free food?
  • Jim Dear and Darling are having a child, but they can’t still love their dog? Or even take care of it? Someone’s priorities are off
  • Why is Trusty going through the birds and the bees talk? Surely dogs don’t have sex ed
  • How does Jock know that babies are expensive?
  • Jim Dear is decorating a baby room for a boy while Darling is writing down baby names for a girl. They are not on the same page
  • Their baby shower feels more like a formal dinner party. Going to give the 1950s benefit of the doubt here – part one
  • Why are Lady’s inner thoughts presented as a song? Am I the weirdo whose thoughts are spoken?
  • They had a boy, but the baby blanket is pink. For what reason? The 1950s were not that progressive
  • Aunt Sarah is a monster. Not appreciating Lady in the slightest
  • Ah, well that’s because she’s a crazy cat lady. Problem solved
  • The siamese cat song will haunt my dreams
  • How many animals do the Dear’s have? I’ve seen Lady, a bird, and a fish
  • Who does Aunt Sarah think she is? Buying a muzzle for a dog that isn’t her own? But also, how do Jim Dear and Darling not know how much she hates dogs and just send Lady to the kennel? Like responsible owners
  • Since when can dogs read?
  • If Tony loves the Tramp so much, why not adopt him?
  • How many customers are waiting for food while Tony uses his attention to give the dogs a full fledged date night?
  • Ah, the iconic spaghetti noodle scene is still beautiful
  • And shocker, by the time we get to Lady and the Tramp on the hill staring at the moon, we have seen all the important scenes from the storyboard intro appear in animated form
  • Are we supposed to infer that their relationship was sealed, so to speak?
  • What is Pidge? And how did Lady get that nickname?
  • The depiction of the dog pound is traumatizing. The Humane Society would have a field day with those conditions
  • How is Lady supposed to emotionally trust the Tramp after hearing Peg’s beautiful rendition of his lifestyle?
  • What kind of a love story is this? The Tramp is a pimp and Lady is just his current interest
  • Who keeps the windows open in a rainstorm? For starters, that’s how rain gets in. Apparently, that’s also how rats get in
  • Trusty magically recovers from losing his smell … we’re supposed to believe that? Or he was a liar in the beginning. We may never know
  • So Lady and the Tramp had time to have a litter of puppies, but Trusty is still in a cast?
  • Why don’t the puppies look more like a blend of Lady and the Tramp? Going to give the 1950s benefit of the doubt here – part two

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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NETFLIX IS BAE, HULU IS THE MISTRESS, AND AMAZON PRIME IS THE ONE NIGHT STAND

There’s no better time than right now to go on a binge. A television binge, that is. Because what else are you doing? Working? Please. Working out? Let’s stop lying. Eating? Maybe, but eating is to bingeing as peanut butter is to jelly. The perfect complement. So there’s no good excuse not to find the remote, turn on the big black box, and be transported into a magical new world of your choosing. In other words, streaming services are the real life version of Narnia. Mythical creatures included if that’s your cup of tea. Villains a plenty if you prefer to live a stressful and dramatic adventure. And characters who make questionable decisions regardless of what selection you make.

Where were we? My mind can’t move past the image of Mr. Tumnus and his curious mashup of human and goat. Real quick, why a goat? Why not stick with the classic centaur? If I had the choice between the speed, grace, and majesty of a horse or the stubby, awkward, bleating of a goat then my choice is very clear. Not that I have anything against goats! Goat yoga is my jam and baby goats falling over are the cutest GIFs on the planet. But … I want to run. I want my leg muscles to absolutely shimmer when I move. I want my mane to flow behind me like an ancient goddess. I want to be the horse, if that was unclear.

Now that we all know where I stand on the clearly controversial horse or goat topic, we can return to the main programming. Streaming service options. Not all streaming services are the same. Mainly since not all of them have the same selection of offerings, for one. There’s also the obvious price differences, ads versus no ads, color scheme, app performance, etc. Those are boring though and any Google search will result in hundreds of comparison articles. This is not one of those articles. I’m comparing nothing. I’m very biased and am choosing one over the others. Because it is my favorite. And this is my blog.

In case you weren’t able to pick up on it from the title, I’m a Netflix kid through and through. I like that they were first. I like that they’re color scheme is dangerous, yet intriguing. I like that they’re basically their own TV network at this point. I like that they have no ads. I like that the stand up comedy selection is better than the Gotham Comedy Club. I like that they give me the most absurd and ridiculous categories for things. I like that their suggestions are sometimes just the top 10 things streaming because that means marketing is getting their voice heard in company meetings. But most of all, I like that every single remote for a smart TV has a Netflix specific button so that my life of bingeing can be achieved easily.

This is not to say that the other companies just suck. It’s 2021, that would be a lie. We live in the golden age of technology – the competition is doing just fine. They’re just all pretty clearly in second. Well, Hulu is in second anyways. I like cheating on Netflix from time to time because as great as Netflix is, it’s timeline for getting the hot new releases of TV series and movies is sometimes slower than waiting in line at the DMV. This is where Hulu shines! They’re speedy. They’re quick. They’ve got a fresh green color scheme that calms me. All of their categories make sense. And yet, once I finish what I was watching on Hulu I’m usually like cool. I’m done and can return home. To the land of zero commercials, ever. Regardless of my subscription level. $5 per month so I don’t have to watch ads?! Wow that’s almost a pint every month and is simply not worth it.

And then there was Amazon Prime who is … trying. If you are made of money, and would like to rent absolutely everything, then this is the service for you. If you aren’t on the ‘Included with Prime’ section, though, there is a zero percent chance that what you’ve chosen will be free. This service is really only good for the other s, shipping. 

Since there is a newcomer on the scene, I’d rank Disney Plus somewhere between Netflix and Hulu. It does come with a pretty great NSFW slang slogan so I guess there’s that. It also features pretty much everything Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, and National Geographic. So there’s also that. And as an adult, there are times when I want nothing more than a feel-good Disney show or movie. Sometimes. Other times I want something rated above PG-13 and that’s where I once again land back in my trusted lover’s arms.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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CINCO DE DRINKO: ANOTHER UNOFFICIAL HOLIDAY FOR DAYTIME DRINKING

The start of May is always a pretty great time of year. January resolutions are long gone so we can all stop trying to fake like we’re changing our lives and giving up sweets. February was but a blip of time that we forgot before it was even over. March Madness kept our stress levels high and our trash talking game on point. Well … in a normal year anyways. This past March was a bunch of pre-Spring weather and learning new words and terms like social distancing, coronavirus, cancelled, closed indefinitely, stay at home, restricted travel, free government money with no strings attached, etc. Then of course April came with its showers so now we have May flowers. Whoop whoop!

May comes in like a tank with the festivities. First, you bring out your inner wookie and deadly lightsaber skills with Star Wars day. Most people love May the Fourth because it’s simply just fun to say. May the Fourth be with you. With you, May the Fourth be – for all of you who, like me, find Yoda to be their Star Wars spirit animal. Baby Yoda by the way, can we just pause for a second and revel in what a gift to television sets everywhere that character is. Just when I thought I couldn’t love Yoda anymore I got him in child form! Kind of like in Finding Dory where Pixar gave us Baby Dory – oh my goodness her little eyes! Same with Baby Yoda. Maybe they just take away age lines and increase eye size to be 50-75% of the face? Whatever the science behind the youngerization of characters, I am here for it! And, to be honest, there are several characters that could use the baby makeover. A few that come to mind immediately:

  • Chewbacca (from Star Wars)
  • Cruella de Vil (from 101 Dalmations)
  • Mickey Mouse (from everything Disney)
  • Buzz Lightyear (from Toy Story)
  • Beast (from Beauty & The Beast)
  • Baloo (from The Jungle Book)
  • Roz (from Monsters Inc.)
  • Bruce (from Finding Nemo)

Before I spend the rest of this post throwing ideas into the universe for baby everything, let us move on. In the hangover from Star Wars day, we get America’s third unofficial daytime drinking holiday of the year (fourth if you’re single) – Cinco de Mayo! Cinco de Drinko if you’re a cool kid like my friends and I. Or if you only speak Spanglish because commiting to an entire language was part of a resolution that is but a fleeting thought from the B.C. era. Before Coronavirus that is. Now you have more important things to do like figure out how to spend endless hours at home with the same human beings, and/or animals day after day after day after day. 

For all the nonsense 2020 has thrown our way, it at least gave us Cinco de Drinko on Taco Tuesday so maybe not all hope is lost. Endless tacos and tequila! But for your takeout pleasure so think about how much you normally consume and triple it, just to be safe. Then you don’t have to figure out how to successfully order another round from a delivery driver while attempting not to fall off the couch. According to Urban Dictionary, Corona is the (un)official beer of this very young adult / quarter life crisis holiday. I am willing to wager that is not going to be the case for this year, but alas I have been wrong once or twice before.

To recap, or in case you genuinely don’t know what the other drinking holidays are, you start the year strong with New Year’s. Because why not ruin the first day of a new year with a killer hangover? If you happen to not like your date, or are self-partnered, you probably cruised into Valentine’s Day with something stronger than grape juice in that glass. Of course, the greenest day of the year pops up after love has ended since you might as well save the planet while you’re infatuated, or in need of a new project. Not that kind of green though – did you really think of Earth Day as a drinking holiday?! I question your judgement. Water, sure. Alcohol, probably not so much. It’s St. Patrick’s Day of course! So now you’re 25% through your year and 75% of it is a bit hazy. April is your chance to recover before May blasts onto the scene leading into vacation season, pumpkin season, and of course, holiday season.

What the heck else does May have, though? You may be wondering. Oh, you know, it’s also casually Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, National Moscato Day, National Dance like a Chicken Day, National Wine Day, graduation season, and it’s also prime wedding season (probably because of the flowers that the showers brought us). I think the question you should be asking is what the heck else DOESN’T May have?

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this and want to share it with them, that would seriously mean a lot to me. I’m so grateful to all the current readers and subscribers. If you want to get these in your inbox twice weekly don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks for reading!


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