RANKING MONTHS OF THE YEAR

Few things bring me more joy than taking something arbitrary, that almost everyone is aware of or deals with, and forcing my opinion onto it. Like the best kind of Oreos, for example. Or the best kind of subjects in school – there is but one right answer here and that, of course, is PE. Or what the best kind of animals to have as pets are – also only one right answer, that being a dog. You know, stuff like that where my opinion is not a fact, nor should it be. 

Coming off the holiday season and right into winter depression season, I thought it would be fitting to reflect on how I rank months of the year. You can probably guess, but I don’t think they are all equal! Not even close, in fact, I believe there are a handful of exciting and fantastic months and the rest are just there for build-up. Like a filler, so to speak. Think of a countdown clock. The fluff months are the countdown clock and the actual epitome of months are what you’re counting down to. In a loose analogy anyways.

Before getting started, there are a few things that I want to acknowledge so you, my readers, can get a somewhat better understanding of why this ranking is the way it is. First, I live in the northern hemisphere so I start each new year in winter. I’m a Christian and celebrate Christmas. I live in America so we celebrate 4th of July and Thanksgiving in November. I live in the southern part of America where we get temps similar to what I can only imagine to be the devil’s armpit during summer. Winter is my favorite season. And yea, I believe that’s all the crucial pieces of background information necessary here. 

Alright, let’s break down the best, and the worst, months of the year! According to me. The Restless Professional. You may feel differently and I guess that’s fine. You do you. I’m doing me. As a quick calendar lesson, there are 12 months in the year and I will be providing all 12 in this ranking (in case you were curious if there was one so bad I wouldn’t even grace my blog with it).

Show Me The Month(ey) Ranking

  1. December
  2. March
  3. May
  4. October
  5. November
  6. April
  7. July
  8. June
  9. September
  10. February
  11. August
  12. January

Obviously self-explanatory, right? No? Shocking that you can’t read my mind, but can so easily read my ranking. Here’s the quick and dirty version of it since neither of us have all day. December is THE holiday month. Kind of like Ohio State is THE Ohio State. Fun, family, and food. My 3 favorite f’s. March is a sports fan’s dream with March Madness keeping things interesting. May is spring and there’s Memorial Day which officially kicks off summer. Plus, Mother’s Day and who doesn’t love their mother? October and November are building up to December so bonus points there, but also we have the beautiful union of football season and basketball season. April is the beginning of spring and usually contains Easter / Spring Break. July and June are getting towards unbearable heat, but it’s still manageable to be outside and summer vacay season is firing on all cylinders. Bonus points for the 4th in July, thus it being above June who is just June. September is honestly so hot and disgusting. Sure, there’s Labor Day but that means that summer is over and the heat is not so who’s really winning? February is quick, which is why it isn’t last, but Valentine’s Day is a thing that I’m not here for. August is the most OVERRATED MONTH since it’s a build-up to work, school, and suffocating heat. Finally, January – the most disappointing month. Coming off a slew of massive holidays into a new year and gray skies. And then it lasts forever. It’s easily the longest month of the year somehow and always has five ish grueling weeks. Bleh.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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AUGUST IS THE MOST OVERRATED MONTH

Some months of the year are better than others. I’m just going to throw that out into the universe. Not all of them can be a March, or November, after all. This deserves a breakdown, don’t you think? What makes one month better than another? What makes a month overrated? What is the TRP ranking of the months? What facts go into these rankings? Let’s get that last one out of the way right quick – there is no factual backing to this post. Zero. This is merely AN OPINION.

What makes one month better than another? This may seem slightly unintuitive, but clearly a combination of weather, positioning in relation to major holidays, and amount of event options available to the people of Earth. So, by default, March and November reign superior to all other months. Cold, but not the coldest months of the year. One is coming out of the cold and looking towards Spring while the other is coming off the summer sauna and finally features a manageable temperature to enjoy the outdoors. Both host major holidays and are surrounded on either side by other very popular holidays (and every holiday is a DRINKING HOLIDAY if you do it right). Finally, there is zero shortage of events, or things to do, in either month. If you’re a sports fan, you understand that the overlap of major sporting events in each of these pristine months is something only the sport gods could have conjured up. If you’re not a sports fan, there’s still plenty of holiday events to attend including, but not limited to egg hunts, irish themed extravaganzas, potlucks, and light shows.

What makes a month overrated? Well, with every other thing that’s overrated (crispy cookies, Windex, and traffic circles come to mind immediately) people like it for no real reason. They just do. No one knows why. Take August for example. What even is happening with this month? It’s technically no longer than any other 31 day month, yet it always has five full weeks somehow and takes years to complete. The weather is like the devil’s breath. The only “holiday” is back-to-school and what kind of holiday is that?! That is the opposite of a holiday. It’s literally celebrating the end of vacation season. No sports really happen in August outside of a handful of golf tournaments and more baseball games. Honestly, what is the appeal?

What is the TRP ranking of the months? Based off the criteria above the months are clearly ordered like so (from best to August):

  1. March
  2. November
  3. October
  4. December
  5. April
  6. June
  7. September
  8. May
  9. July
  10. February
  11. January
  12. August

I do think that January and August are basically the same ugh wise. The one key separator is that January is the start to a new year so all those resolutions are giving you life and motivation. August is awkwardly terrible in the bottom half of the year when you’re ready to move on already. How would you rank the months?

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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