Tag: New Year's Eve

NEW YEAR, NEW YOU, NEW SHOES, NEW DO

Fireworks, parties, friends, family, good food, better liquor, poor decisions – I’m talking about New Year’s! When the calendar resets and not so subtly reminds us to do the same with our lives. Snarky little devil that Father Time is. What was the arbitrary decision behind a 365, 12 month calendar year? Something about the Earth orbiting the Sun? In my professional opinion, just because the Earth starts over doesn’t mean I have to. Besides, the Earth just keeps going in circles and nothing changes, which seems like the complete opposite of everything we celebrate with a new year and a chance to start fresh down an entirely different path?

According to its all-knowing Wikipedia page, a New Year’s Resolution is ‘a tradition … in which a person resolves to change an undesired trait or behavior, to accomplish a personal goal or otherwise improve their life.’ Ok, wow, that seems deep and highly targeted at all of the bad choices we have made at some point in our lives … why don’t we ever make resolutions like “I am the sh*t, I effing love myself, haters gon hate, this year I’m focusing on continuing to slay like the bad mamma jamma that I am”

Aside from the questionable decisions I make on a daily basis, I’m basically living my best life. Aren’t we all, though? If a stranger came up to you, or stalked you on social media, you most likely wouldn’t slog through some sob story about your confidence levels and your entry-level position in a field completely unrelated to your degree or how your significant other doesn’t text you back fast enough and you’re having doubts about the whole relationship and on and on and on. NO! Because that stranger would leave your sorry page for something more exciting. We are selfish creatures by nature. Don’t believe me? You 100% thought of yourself telling someone that story while reading this paragraph.

So we show and tell our highlight reel to seem “fine” and “happy”. To make our closest friends, family, and random followers jealous. Life is funny like that. Enter the New Year celebrations and Father Time. You won’t openly address your failures or frustrations from the past year, so an entire holiday was created to celebrate just that. Oh, you didn’t find a job, that’s ok! Make it your resolution! I see, you wanted to stop dating f-boys, but you got lonely. Never fear, New Year’s is here! Makes total sense that you wanted to eat healthier, but it was cheaper and easier to just go with the processed stuff. I forgive you, and so does the calendar – resolution that sucker up! 

And so we all start off so strong: next year I’m going to cure cancer, solve world hunger, find my self-esteem, enjoy a life full of inner peace, lose every ounce of fat on my body, and get 10 different suitors for marriage. Super easy! Enter January 2: you know, I don’t want to stretch myself too thin so I’ll stick to positive affirmations and starting a workout routine. Oh the resolve that we all have. Research has shown that only 8% of people accomplish their resolutions. 8%?! Pretty sure that’s about the amount of real meat in a McDonald’s chicken nugget. What happens to the other 92% of us? Natural selection, that’s what.

If you’ve never seen one of those really informative documentaries on space and all it’s gajillion galaxies narrated by Neil deGrasse Tyson, let me summarize quickly so we are all on the same page moving forward: basically, you’re not special. Moving on … so the universe is supposedly infinite and we all exist in multiple different dimensions of reality. Do we subconsciously know this and are we simply chasing after the version of us that we want? What does that version of me set as a resolution? To keep moving further ahead? What a ho! I am you and you are me so we should both want to achieve bliss together, right? 

I’m starting to feel a bit like a conspiracy theorist so that seems like a good resolution for the upcoming year: stop overthinking stupid things I have no control over. I bet that will get me solidly through MLK day. After that, well if history is a good indicator, I’ll be one of the 92 percenters that give up and go back to the comfort of my current life – constantly confused about how the world works and why it is that way.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who sticks to their New Year’s resolutions then you should follow their example and try to boost our success numbers. Clearly they are doing something right and we can all learn from them. Thanks for reading!

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IF 2020 HAD PLAYED NICE

Never in my life have I been more excited for a new year. I think that’s probably a true statement for most people on Earth at this moment. This has been the year from hell. Can’t say I’d be overly surprised if 2020 became another numerical symbol for the devil moving forward. Because evidence lines up there. Was Lucifer just bored? Was there not enough evil in the world as is? Was the American obesity crisis ending? 

Not sure we’ll ever get answers, but to end the year on a more hopeful note let’s take a moment to imagine what would have happened if 2020 had played nice. Basically if COVID-19 simply wasn’t a thing. At all. If it was sent to the disease graveyard. Better yet, if it had never been born. Is that too harsh? My gut says no considering it’s current murder spree. And what’s with this incubation period? It’s bad enough being more contagious than cooties and it could be squatting in your body for up to 14 days until you show symptoms? That is natural BS on a whole new level.

Anyways, we all know what 2020 took from us. Loved ones, friends, celebrity crushes, role models, jobs, relationships, peace of mind, the gym, toilet paper, large gatherings, March Madness, sanity, etc. Let’s travel back in time to early January, though. Before the first sign and change the course of the year to be more normal. Since normal is the only thing I pray for now. Side tangent: remember when being normal was basic? And not so desirable? Mmkay I see you Mother Nature flipping the status quo here.

I think for starters, we would still have Black Mamba with us. Was that technically a COVID casualty? No, but it was a 2020 terror event and one that really started a seismic domino or events. Plus, who doesn’t want more Kobe in their life? Less specifically, February would have rolled around and the majority of us would already be back on the couch eating our sadness for not following our new year resolutions. March Madness would have been one for the ages. Of course, some Cinderellas would have been present, but I think we would have seen a stacked, yet somewhat predictable, Final Four, and a well deserved champion.

Instead of being on some weird, maybe this is temporary, 14 day partial kind of not really enforced shutdown in April, we would have been hunting Easter Eggs and living our spring break fantasies. The Masters would have gone off smoothly at a beautiful, spring kissed Augusta National. May would have brought graduation season, wedding season, another bomb celebration of mom, and of course the ultimate summer kickoff weekend. Full of alcohol, cookouts, friends, family, and poor decisions. Then summer would have hit as it always does. With welcome arms because ready or not, it’s vacation season! All those trips from extravagant to low key would have helped you relax and reset.

The NBA Finals would have dragged on for way too long per usual. Fourth of July would have been fireworks filled and American pride would have been high. Even if for a brief moment. August would still have been overrated, but, in hindsight, a return to school would have been a fun thing for everyone to look forward to. No more unexpected homeschooling. Football season would have started with all the hype and a whole lot of hope for your team’s performance. Labor Day would have given us that first, it’s no longer summer so here’s a day to embrace the fall, holiday. 

Then the fall would have come in strong as we participated in the classics: pumpkin patches, apple picking, tailgating, basketball season, etc. with pumpkin flavored everything. Halloween was on a Saturday so the whole weekend would have been absolutely lit! The election still would have been a thing, but probably wouldn’t have felt as life or death. Maybe more of a hey let’s make sure our voice is heard by voting kind of deal as it traditionally is. 

As we switched gears into the debate around how early is too early to listen to holiday music, the excitement for the end of year use them or lose them vacation days would be approaching. Thanksgiving would have seen family gatherings and a shared meal in person all over the country. We would have wrapped up with another way too social December leading up to the best holiday season of the year. Gift exchanges, holiday parties, light shows, plays, shopping, eating, drinking, laughing, etc. all of it in person and lived to the max. Prepping for the new year in the same way as usual – by thinking of what “change” we want to “permanently” make in our lives for January of the next year.

How nice does that sound? It used to feel monotonous sometimes, but honestly that sounds so absolutely incredible right now I’d give a lot to get that back. It’s funny how something like a global pandemic can put some things in perspective. For example, despite all of the sadness and frustration from this year, there have been some incredible moments from it. All the extra time at home with your pets and loved ones. The ridiculous speed at which the world switched to virtual work mode making the nomad lifestyle attainable for all. How people have stepped up to help each other. Voter turnout was at an all time high. I think our compassion levels grew 3 sizes over the year. We’ve learned that toilet paper does not need to be hoarded – trust the production process. But most importantly, every single generation is now almost tech savvy! Which is a huge win for the world. 

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!

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