YOU CAN LOOK AT THE MENU BEFORE IT’S YOUR TURN TO ORDER, NO ONE IS STOPPING YOU

Waiting in line is simply the worst. Sure, you can check email, browse all your social media accounts, play 10 levels on your favorite game, check your bank statement, find potential flights for your upcoming vacation, register for a local event, check current sport scores, send some beautiful selfies of yourself to your friends, make a to-do list, see what the weather will be like this weekend, get directions to the nearest bakery, connect with people you just met in line on LinkedIn, order a car to pick you up after you’re done waiting in line, read some motivational quotes, make your selfies professional looking with photoshop, learn a new language, manage your blog…oh my goodness who even needs computers anymore?!

Let me start over. Waiting in line may be the most productive place on the planet. Productive, or not, though, does anyone really enjoy it? Like to the point where you just hope that you get stuck in a line? If so, kudos to you and your patience. For everyone else (who is normal) it’s still no fun. Especially when you’re waiting for food. Did I stress that enough? When you’re hungry, or hangry, waiting in line is THE WORST!

So if I feel that way, and you feel that way, how then are there people who think it’s acceptable to stand in line and not even look at the menu until it’s their turn to order?! It’s one thing if you walk into a restaurant, and there is no one waiting to order and so you stroll up to the counter and read every item on the menu like you’re going to be tested on it. Totally fine! You’re not impeding anyone from their destiny of fulfillment.

That, however, is the one acceptable scenario here. If you enter a restaurant, there’s no one in line, you stroll up to the counter, pore over the menu in depth, but refuse to let someone who entered after you order first – well that’s just rude. Unlike you, I frequent this establishment and the cashier knows my order by heart so please make way. Not sure what that says about my choices in life, but when you’re hungry there is no better feeling than giving that high school worker a nod and a smile and have everything you want brought out to you quickly.

Although, worst case is that you have to wait a few tortuous minutes for the noob to make a decision. So it’s kind of acceptable. In the spirit of kindness or something like that. If, however, you enter a restaurant and there’s a long line, then people continue to pile in behind you, do all of humanity a favor and use your time to run through the different meal scenarios in your head. Instead of say, sending another ermahgerd face to someone who will likely screenshot it and blackmail you at your wedding or some other unfortunate time.

What exactly are you waiting for? Do you think the food will be fresher if you wait to look at the menu? Sorry I have to be the one that explains this, but the menu does not create the food. People do. In a kitchen. Behind the menu. Like Keebler elves. You tell a middleman what you want. They relay that in a secret code to the magical humans in charge of the grill. Then, like magic, it appears. Sometimes instantaneously. But it isn’t magic. It’s literally just people cooking. And, like good cooks, they meal prep. So chances are whatever basic thing you want was made a while ago and is just toasting its buns in a warming oven somewhere.

Thus the concept of fast food. And large font sizes. It’s not just for fun, it’s functional. Someone, somewhere, spent a lot of money (and probably time) researching how to speed up the line. It’s fine though, I’m sure that doesn’t frustrate them at all to see their hard work get rejected for Instagram.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you tend to procrastinate making food decisions, then try switching it up for a change and skip the niceties with the cashier. ‘Hi, I want A, B, and C, have a good day.’ Thanks for reading!


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