I DON’T ALWAYS EAT UNTIL I CAN’T MOVE … WAIT, YES I DO!

The holiday season is probably the most divisive three months of the entire year. Sure, it’s a time to be thankful, and joyful, and giving, and terrified (you can get my full thoughts on Halloween’s place in the season HERE), but it’s also a time to pick a side and fight for it. No, I’m not talking about a political side, or a side of the dinner table, or a side of the family – those can be chosen at any time of the year. You don’t need pumpkins, dead turkeys, or cookies to do that to yourself.

Obviously I’m talking about when it’s acceptable to begin decorating for Christmas and playing some classic carols non-stop. In my experience, people tend to fall into one of these three categories:

  • Thanksgiving is a full on holiday and I don’t even get merry for Christmas until Black Friday
  • Thanksgiving is just a happy accident on the way to the best holiday of the year
  • All holidays are the same and should be treated equally

I’m not even going to touch that last category – you’re just wrong and that’s not true at all. Don’t be that person. Pick at least one to go all in for! Personally, I tend to fall into the middle category and if you’re with me, let’s drink some eggnog and play All I Want for Christmas is You on repeat. For everyone else, the ones in the first category in case you couldn’t keep up, I do not understand you at all. ‘You can’t skip Thanksgiving! It’s a time to be thankful and eat all of the food!’ – Thanksgiving lovers.

Mmkay … first of all, you should just be thankful like all of the time. If you need a holiday to remind you of that then it might be time to reevaluate your priorities. Yes, you get to eat … a lot. You know when else you can eat a lot though? THE ENTIRE CHRISTMAS SEASON! Which is 12 days long traditionally, 25 days if you’re Freeform, or year round if you’re like me so why do I want one day to eat when I can have multiple? I’m a big fan of eating (THAT’S NO SECRET), but Thanksgiving is just one day. 24 hours. That’s it. Nothing more. What is the appeal of that? 

Might I also point out that the Thanksgiving meal is shockingly similar to Christmas dinner. But without all the delicious cookies and holiday drinks. Makes no sense to me. I don’t need someone to tell me it’s ok to eat until my pants start to feel way too tight. I’m a grown adult, I can do that any day of the week. Don’t get me wrong, I love having those days off work and seeing my family. But it does bother me that both Thanksgiving and Black Friday are company holidays while only Christmas day is. Christmas Eve is just as big a deal. Corporate America never ceases to confuse me.

Anyways, to be clear, this is not a post complaining about Thanksgiving itself. It’s more of a general confusion around all the people who wait until the day after to begin celebrating Christmas. Can your spirit literally not handle double the joy and excitement? Why get excited for one holiday when you can be psyched up for two? Again, this is very simple math. 2 > 1. 12 > 1. 25 > 12 > 1. 365 > 25 > 12 > 1.

I have zero shame when it comes to Christmas. November 1 I take in my desk decorations and it’s a miracle I hold out until then because, if we’re honest, it’s never too early to be put in a hella amazing mood by looking at Christmas lights. It’s always a fun game to see how long after the New Year that my co-workers tolerate me keeping it up … my current record is February 8 and I think next year I’m going to beat that. Mostly since my main co-worker at the moment is my dog and she doesn’t care. Then it’s basically time to get stoked for that year’s Christmas so I don’t know why I even give in to peer pressure and take it down. I am a peacock, let me spread my wings and be merry!

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you love Christmas as much as I do, let’s debate who sings the best versions of each classic Christmas song. If you are a Thanksgiving turkey, then you may have your holiday, but come Black Friday, you better be jollier than Santa stealing cookies from random houses all over the world. Thanks for reading!


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HOW EARLY IS TOO EARLY? HOLIDAY MUSIC EDITION

You already know what time of year it is! Holiday season is in full swing. The weather wants to get colder, but some of us in the South are still living in heavy after-effects of summer. Much to the disappointment of our northern brethren probably. Football season is, for the most part, happening. The Masters just wrapped up. Themed store displays, and candy, are everywhere. Halloween was less terrifying than usual due to social distancing at haunted houses. Pumpkin flavored everything is available. The news is talking about how to enjoy a virtual Thanksgiving with your loved ones. Or, for the daredevils of the world, how to safely meet in person. You know, just a standard year filled with standard holiday happenings. 

One of my favorite things about this time of year, outside of the lights, is the holiday music scene. Well … let me rephrase. One of my favorite things about any time of the year is holiday music. It just brings a whole new hype level when we’re actually within the 55 day mark. Which, of course, is HALLOWEEN. A most ironic symbol. Terrifying horror stories kick off the final countdown to love, peace, and joy. And fresh starts. I think for most people, all we want for Christmas is for 2021 to finally arrive. But also the iPhone 12 because we still have people to impress on social media.

Despite my personal feelings on the matter, I’m very aware that not everyone is in the same sleigh here. Everyone has their ‘it’s too early’ line and are rarely willing to cross it. Which then begs the existential crisis of a question – how early is too early? I tend to think that your answer to this very much depends on where you stand on Thanksgiving. Specifically on the following questions that I have answered to help clear up any confusion:

  • Is it a holiday? 
    • Yes! Of course it’s a holiday – some 401 years ago someone landed here and ate to celebrate. And so we continue to celebrate their miraculous sea voyage out of respect
  • Is it a holiday that needs a buildup? 
    • Definitely not! It’s a meal. At the end of the day, it’s simply a family meal. A typical Sunday lunch for some people. Just with more effort involved in cooking and cleaning
  • Is it a holiday we decorate for?
    • Nope! What would you do? Throw out some gourds, put leaves on your walls, and place a fake cornucopia in the middle of the table? So basically if you were decorating for the leaves changing colors then, ok
  • Is there specific Thanksgiving events that would lead to an intense hype? 
    • There are! Turkey Trots anyone? Because deep down we know what kind of annihilation we’ll be bringing on our stomachs later in the afternoon so we try to get ahead of it
  • Is it really just a few days off work? 
    • Technically, yes! It’s just part of the standard holiday days at most companies. Along with Black Friday because we’re all too full to move still. And thus productivity would be non-existent
  • Is it simply another excuse to supersize our meals? 
    • For sure! There’s literally zero reason that Thanksgiving dinner needs to have more food than a normal family would prep in a week. Also, what’s with the skipping lunch tradition? Hard pass – I still want 3 meals that day regardless of how it happens
  • Is it just an old tradition that involved food so we stuck with it? 
    • Probably! What other holidays survived? Ones that involve eating, or drinking in some fashion. Give the people what they want!
  • Is it necessary? 
    • 100%! If we didn’t have Thanksgiving we would just have this weird almost 2 months between Halloween and Christmas where panic would ensue. There would be no clear, this is now Christmas time, for all the people who believe Thanksgiving deserves 3+ weeks of buildup. When would they start listening to holiday music? When would they decorate with trees and snowmen and elves? Would they just accidentally miss Christmas?! The horror
  • Is there an exchanging of gifts?
    • If you’re asking this question, you clearly are the person who listens to All I Want For Christmas is You one time and plays Silent Night before bed on Christmas Eve. Then preps for New Year’s. Gifts? Of food maybe

Not sure if that clears up your dilemma on when you believe it’s socially acceptable to turn those holiday jams on. But if you agreed with any of my answers, jump aboard the 55 day train and blast some Mariah, some JB, some Kelly, some PTX, or anyone else you enjoy! If you feel bad about Thanksgiving, don’t. There’s still plenty of people out there who are giving the turkeys their fair share of time. Besides, it’s not like you’re not going to celebrate it? Thanksgiving will still get its day of love and full bellies. 

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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