WHY I PRACTICE YOGA

In case you’ve never opened an Internet browser ever, yoga has kind of taken over the world. It’s a huge buzzword in the fitness community, but its benefits impact all aspects of your life. With literally zero effort and preparation you can knock out a quick yoga sesh anytime, anywhere, with anyone, wearing anything. There are no rules to it, which is probably part of the appeal. I guess the only rule is to focus on your breathing and the mind, body, soul connection. But who would really know if you opted to daydream about all the vacations you’re going to crank out once our American travel ban is lifted by the rest of the world.

Like with most good things, there are critics who have “concerns” about the actual energy expenditure to physical toning equation and are “skeptical” of the health benefits. And thus you get a couple of different mindsets on the matter. The yogis, who are not only invested in practicing the yoga techniques, but are passionate about teaching others and spreading the word. The post-workout yoga stretchers, who see the benefits and like to supplement other, more intense workouts, with a good re-centering exercise to finish off. The yoga is the exercise devil group, who are very vocal about their dislike for everything yoga related and find joy in tearing yogis away from their one true love.

Feels a bit extreme, doesn’t it? I fall in the middle group, but would like to ride the yoga mat levels up to yogi. Everytime I practice yoga, I feel my stress disappear, my anxiety relieves itself for the time being, my energy levels spike, and overall my quality of life improves. It’s also a great way to protect myself against future injury. Not to humble brag or anything, but I’m kind of a yoga stud. I’m an absolute pro at yoga. Not everyone has mastered it in the way that I have. No mat needed. No awkward animal positions that are supposedly relaxing, but really just point out all the ways you aren’t remotely flexible. No overpriced leggings – any outfit will do. Did I lose you? Yo, ga to the next paragraph and catch my drift.

It’s a simple principle, really. Find someone near you and send them where you were supposed to go. Like so:

  • Yo, ga to the store and get me some cookies
  • Yo, ga get me a second round – G&T, keep it classy
  • Yo, ga to the DMV and renew my license
  • Yo, ga to my meeting and take good notes – I have a presentation tomorrow
  • Yo, ga to my significant other’s house and take them a thinking of you present
  • Yo, ga to my fridge and make me a sandwich – throw some veggies on the side for health
  • Yo, ga outside and wash my car
  • Yo, ga to the gym for me – bring me back a you’ve earned it milkshake on your way home

See? Simple. Efficient. Realistic. Zero stress. Minimal anxiety. More energy. No injuries. Hard to get injured when you don’t put yourself in situations, after all. I wish all the nonsense articles online would stop promoting actual stretching, or exercise. Fake news. It’s a mindset. It’s an action. It’s a delegation. It’s living your best life. Success outcomes do tend to vary, though. Usually between ‘lol, you got jokes’ and ‘you thought’. I’m holding out hope that continued effort will eventually break through. TBD. Until then, keep bird dogging like no one is watching.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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IF PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY, THE GYM HAS TAUGHT ME I HAVE ZERO STRENGTH

‘You know it was a good workout when you can’t feel your legs the next day’ – all the fitness gurus. ‘If I can’t feel my legs, that seems like a serious medical condition’ – Me

Pain is weakness leaving the body. Who came up with that phrase?! What weakness are you removing? Are there no other ways to get stronger? This seems like a backwards mentality – if you workout until you are in pain, then yes, eventually you’ll get stronger after you fully heal. On the other hand, if you push yourself without crossing the pain threshold, you’ll wake up feeling normal and will be able to do another workout…the very next day. Not 4-6 weeks later.

I mean sure, DOMS is satisfying (if you don’t know what DOMS is, it stands for Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness), but soreness is the key word here. This isn’t DOMP for a reason. Pushing through pain leads to injury which leads to recovery AKA time spent on the couch doing little physical activity, but still eating like you’re training for the Olympics. (because we’re Americans and have ZERO CONTROL).

Can we all also agree that this statement is rude as hell?! What about all the workout beginners who are just in pain because working out is THE WORST and, if you have taken any extended amount of time off, you know that it will all hurt for a while. Just because life thinks it’s funny I guess. ‘Oh you want to be healthy and live longer? I’m going to make you work, suffer, and cry for it’ – Life. ‘Oh you want to be happy, comfortable, and pain free? I’m going to make sure your metabolism disappears and that just thinking about eating will make you gain weight’ – also Life.

Is that why yoga is so popular now? You can “work out” and feel like you didn’t do anything. I don’t want to get into my opinions on yoga…don’t feel a need to drive away mass amounts of readers for no real reason. All I’ll say, is that I believe yoga is a great supplement to other physical activities. I’m not a yogi, if you couldn’t tell. I’ve never felt good after a yoga workout, though, which is probably the reason. The instructors always tell me to stretch deeper which is PAINFUL because my flexibility leaves a lot to be desired if I’m honest. And, in case you missed the point of this post, pain is NOT what I’m aiming for.

Pilates I like. Barre should not even be considered a low impact workout – I didn’t know there were so many muscles in my butt that could hurt so bad. I’ve iced my a** one time and I’ve done a Barre workout one time. Coincidence? 100%! That was one of those workouts I had to take constant breaks from…at a random point during an exercise and not during designated water breaks. I also shed several tears.

Running is weird because jogging is considered low impact, but running is high impact? I’m as confused as you are with that sentence, but it’s actually true (Google it, I dare you). What’s the difference between running and jogging? I still haven’t figured that out because all knowing Google describes jogging as a pace that allows one to maintain a conversation…it also describes running (other than full on sprinting) as conversational pace. I’m about as lost as I was in every history class ever. Whole different topic though, let’s not even touch that right now.

So, Restless Professional, how am I supposed to stay physically active without finding myself in pain?’ – You, the reader. Cycling then? Rowing? Stairmaster? Horizontal running? You do you – there’s lots of options out there. For clarification, I never claimed to be a fitness expert. Merely an opinionated person who doesn’t believe in the pain for gains mentality. I like being able to walk without waddling and not having my co-workers judge my assumed personal life decisions. You know what they say about assumptions Karen?! They make an a** out of you…also me I think but that part seems irrelevant here. And we’ve entered another quote rabbit hole.

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you are someone who also actively avoids pain then we are twinning hard core and you should share this with them. Brag about that to your peers. Thanks for reading!


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