Schimdt and Jenko are your local, fun-loving, carefree, happy go lucky, clueless boys next door. How they are continuing to get paid to do mediocre work, at best, is beyond me. That isn’t the only question that comes to mind in this movie. Despite the jokes, the comedy, and the scenes that make you stop and wonder how certain people make it to professional roles, there are multiple times where I can’t help but observe and question what is actually happening … much like Schmidt and Jenko trying to figure out college:

  • The intro music reminds me of being at the clurb
  • Do we really need a previously on? It’s a movie, not a TV show … what would happen if we watched the sequel without having seen the first one? Would we not get it?
  • Who authorized them to have so many guns? 
  • Where are all the other people in the world? Surely the parking garage and streets would not be so empty
  • I’m gonna need you to improvise’ – my boss when I ask questions they also don’t know the answer to
  • It’s a miracle these two have not been killed. Schmidt is clearly the whitest boy ever even with his fake latin accent
  • Jenko’s Jeff accent is equally as terrible. Who is he trying to be?
  • A nice little tribute to The Hangover with the octopus scene. I’m not sure if I would want naked Ken Jeong or an octopus jumping at me
  • All you gotta do is walk now’ – famous last words
  • Who would have guessed that Schmidt would get hit in the head with something after finally standing up on the truck? Literally everyone
  • Any movie where Nick Offerman makes an appearance is a great freaking movie
  • Nice foreshadowing for a third movie which has yet to appear
  • Schmidt and Captain Dickson definitely flipped spots when Jenko was talking about Vietnamese Jesus. I can’t be the only one who noticed that
  • Schmidt trying to prove how invested he is in the case is awko taco
  • Schmidt and Jenko could be in a Target Back to College ad and I would buy everything they’re selling
  • With the budget increases they couldn’t have gotten a nicer dorm?
  • What college has co-ed bathrooms? I’m a hard pass on that front
  • For the record, no not all books have been put into computers but I appreciate the advanced thinking these two geniuses are going for
  • Whaaaatttt? Schmidt got called out as a nark? Shocking
  • Schmidt’s slam poetry is everyone when they get called on in class and have no idea what the question was
  • Mr. Walters is a mood. Not necessarily a good one, but a mood nonetheless
  • A meat-cute sandwich … bleh I’d rather die than eat a sandwich that had a Q-Tip in it. Much less someone else’s Q-Tip
  • Watching Rooster try to pick up the goal post is how I feel every day at work
  • Prepare for a streak of savage comments
    • What’s it like waking up to a 40 year old freshman?
    • 19 minutes late to Pinnacle
    • Tell us about the war … any one of ‘em
  • What would a college movie be without the walk of shame? Schmidt clearly didn’t own it
  • Imagine accidentally eating 6 drug infused treats. We would all be Schmidt and Jenko let’s not lie to ourselves
  • I don’t have any more cameras, I’ve said it 5 times’ – me when someone asks the same question over and over and over and over and over again
  • Is it a bad trip if Creed isn’t playing?
  • Fraternities are a whole cultural experience. Why pigs?
  • Why must Schmidt always carry his shoes in his hand? I do enjoy that he knows the other standard walk of shame girls on campus, though. His own little community
  • Of course Maya’s father is Captain Dickson. Poor poor poor Doug … I mean Schmidt
  • How likely is it that Schmidt gets fired for sleeping with the Captain’s daughter?
  • You’ve got 99 problems, but being young isn’t one’ – our savage friend is back
  • At what point will Schmidt and Jenko realize that the therapist isn’t talking about their police partnership?
  • Did they just actually have a logical, smart thought about the case? About time the movie is almost over
  • Wouldn’t you also show up in Kevlar to a meeting with your Captain after having slept with his daughter?
  • Jenko’s reaction, once he finally figured it out, is priceless
  • They split the pole. THEY SPLIT THE POLE! ON PURPOSE! Their relationship is doomed
  • Is there a reason none of the lights work in the stacks in the library?
  • Why would Jenko not change out of his football uniform?
  • In what world could someone run completely straight down a super narrow hallway and not get hit with a bullet? Ghost’s guys have terrible aim
  • One would think the Hummer could try to avoid hitting some of the things
  • Did Jenko forget that he isn’t college aged?
  • Schmidt throwing the rock at the smart mouthed little kid gives me life
  • Is Puerto, Mexico a place? Probably in the same way that Metro City State is a real college
  • The grenade should not go in the pants. I repeat, the grenade should not go in the pants
  • Who could have guessed that Mercedes was in on it? Me, that’s who
  • And of course the Yang twins are there too – they’ve been high all movie
  • Did Ghost just say the “family business” when talking to Mercedes? Is she his daughter?
  • Is that my bathing suit?’ – seems like a good reason to threaten shooting someone
  • I agree Jenko, let the Lambo drive you
  • Who is the random guy sitting in the back corner during Schmidt and Mercedes’ fight scene?
  • Schmidt and Mercedes arguing about kissing or punching reminds me of the cooties phase in elementary school
  • No one else in that entire hallway picked up the gun? No one?
  • Watching both Jenko and Schmidt run the stairs, I lean on the Schmidt side where I need multiple breaks. Stairs are exhausting
  • I have to side with Jenko, the thought doesn’t count when trying to take a bullet for someone. Take it or don’t
  • The montage of all of Schmidt’s parkour failures is the best part of this movie hands down
  • What would the helicopter scene be without thousands of drunk college students misunderstanding the situation and cheering
  • The screen grabs from the next million Jump Streets make watching the entire movie worth it. I appreciate every single option that is available for them to work in
  • I have to believe that the Jump Street game for shooting Mr. Walters is definitely not kid friendly
  • Stick around to the end for the amazing little clip between Eric and Mr. Walters. It’s a gem. Somebody please save poor Eric from that man

Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!


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