What’s the scariest thing that can happen in a relationship? A mother flipping ghost appears. Nobody wants that. Nobody asks for that … well, that’s not entirely true. Some people can’t take a hint and need a little scare. But, nobody is ever really thankful for that. Overall, it’s just not a great ending to whatever you had happening. Often seen as the Irish goodbye of the relationship, rarely is it justified. Actually, it’s usually a coward’s way to get out of communicating. The incredibly challenging art of expressing your feelings.
Let’s back up for a second though. I would guess that anyone under the age of 30 probably understands that there are 2 kinds of ghosts in life. One that is arguably fictional and floats through walls. Sometimes they’re friendly, sometimes they’re demons sent to terrorize you, sometimes they’re neutral spirits trying to get to the next life. We don’t know. But that is the more common form of a ghost. Those outside of the currently somewhat in touch with the children generations age range, may not be as familiar with the other type of ghost.
Have you ever been talking to someone? Dating someone?? Engaged to someone?! Married to someone??!! Basically, have you ever had more than a friendship with someone? Caught the feelings. Been struck by Cupid’s arrow. Bought a one way ticket to happily ever after. Ok, yea, all of those are super cheesy, but I think you get the point. Although, if we’re being honest with ourselves, ghosts can also appear in friendships. Not as common, but still a thing. So, I guess the criteria here is have you ever not hated someone enough to talk to them more than once a month?
I’m going to let you figure out who those answers point you to. Mostly because I don’t know you. Or your past. Or your current situation. But, I do think you have someone in mind. Now imagine, or if it actually happened then use that memory (also I’m very sorry), that things were going good. You talked to them. They talked to you. You felt one way. You assumed they felt a similar way. Life is good! Then BAM! Out of nowhere you don’t hear from them for a day. Which turns into a week. Then a month. Then you’re like, what the eff? Did they die?! Since in your mind, at that time, that’s pretty much the only rational conclusion.
Then everyone’s favorite stalker tool, social media, comes to the rescue! And you find out that in fact, no, they didn’t die. Which is good. For them. The point here is not to hope people have perished, in case that was unclear. At the same time, however, you realize that this person is very much alive and very much doing things with other people. Who aren’t you. With zero explanation. And you’re like wait, wut?
Welcome to the modern day, very much solid and alive, ghost. These are people who decided that whatever you were offering to them was no longer valuable in their lives. Not just that. They decided that instead of being a nice person, not even nice, though, just a decent human being, and having a talk with you about where they’re at emotionally with your situation, that it’s easier to just cut all ties. Leave you on read. Accept the friend request so you know they weren’t tragically killed, but never, ever give any sort of indication or hint as to what happened. Disappear forever. With you and all your questions just there.
Isn’t that fun?! So fun! Communication isn’t easy. Communicating with friends and family is hard, for sure. Communicating in relationships is another level of difficulty. The boss level so to speak of the current world. And yet, the funny thing about communicating, is that if you don’t at least try, then all parties are going to be confused. Confused and maybe a little angry. Which is always a healthy way to approach a disappointing situation.
So why are ghosts so popular, then? Well, it’s the easier route. No awkward conversations. No hurt feelings. No tears. No guilty feelings. No having to decide who gets to keep the dog. You just do you. Screw that other person. In my opinion, however, it’s also the coward’s exit to something they weren’t really invested in. Just be honest. From the beginning, not 9 months into something where you know you and the other person are NOT on the same page. Is that so hard? Apparently.
Alright, jumping off my pedestal for now. If you know someone who would enjoy this post and want to share it with them, that would be awesome. Sharing is caring, after all. Don’t forget to subscribe to get these in your inbox twice weekly and follow TRP on Twitter for frequent musings. Thanks for reading!
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